Kuching Bike Hash Riding the Bash

Should I ride the Long or the Scenic?

The long ride lasts 2 to 3 hours, if all goes well, and can be upwards of 30km long, although usually it is between 17 and 25 km, depending on the terrain on which the trail is set. The aim of the Long, it appears, is to strike that delicate balance between (a) killing the hounds from dehydration and exhaustion and (b) testing their sense of humour.

By contrast, the Scenic ride is for people who are not into the pain thing. generally, the Scenic ride is set so that a child of 8-10 years will be able to ride it - not necessarily easily (aah, we need to build their characters, after all), but complete it nonetheless. It lasts between 1 to 2 hours, and is capped at 13km. The terrain is not as "technical' and is less hilly than in the Long.

What do I do when I get to a checkpoint?

A checkpoint is usually a large pile of paper. Don't just sit there, check! The correct trail should continue within about 200 meters away from the checkpoint-in any direction, even backwards.

A checkpoint at which the correct trail continues slightly before you come to the checkpoint is called a backcheck. In some instances, the check may not be marked with a large pile of paper, but the trail of paper brings you around to a previously-ridden section of the trail: this is called a loop. Unless of course, it is a backcheck loop-check, in which case you should grab the hare and hang him up on the nearest tree by his Lycra.

How do I know if other people have found the trail?

Shout "Are you?" at the top of your lungs. If the answer is "On-on", then the trail has been found. If not, the answer should be "Checking!"

What is a false trail, and how can I tell?

A false trail is a nefarious device used by the hares to make sure that the FRBs (front-running bastards) do not stray too far ahead of the laggards. You know it is a false if:

• the trail ends in an "X" marked with paper, palm fronds or, less usually, with flour.
• can go for about 400 meters
• the trail leads up a tree.

Do I get a prize if I finish first?

No dude, you've confused hasing with racing. If you want to race, please do not come to the hash. If you've checked, called on-on, filled in the checks after finding the trail, and still finish first, helmets off to you, bro. If you've finished first, but sucked someone's else's wheel through half the course, sat in the shade at the checks while others checked, or sneaked off on your own once you've solved the check, may bad things happen to you, like never being able to perfectly adjust your rear deralilleur.

What if I get lost?

The first rule of riding is: NEVER, EVER, GO OFF PAPER (except when you are checking, of course). If you go off, the hares will never be able to find you. If you are unable to find the continuation of the trail, backtrack or wait for the hare to appear. (If you choose to wait, you will most likely be immediately swamed with mosquitoes - bring and use repellent.)

How will I know someone will look for me if I get lost?

If you have signed out at the beginning of the bash, the hares will know that you are still out there if you have not yet returned and signed in. (You sign out when you ride out to the trail, and you sign in. Confusing? A bit. Rocket science? Maybe not.)

Remember, if you dont't sign out, the hares will never look for you.

The Two Runs

Two runs are normally set, Long Run and Scenic Run, either on different circuits or largely the same circuit with paper of differing shape or colour for each run.

The main guidelines for setting a run can be summarised as follows -

• Long Run - approximately 18km, varied terrain, steep hills, interesting downhills, single track etc.
• Scenic Run - approximately 8km, as above but avoiding excessive hill climbs or dangerous decents.

Runs should be rideable ie. on your bike pedaling as opposed to on your feet climbing with bike on shoulder. This rule is somewhat more relaxed for the long run where, as a hare, it's nice to see the poor sods wading through a river or struggling up the contours - but don't over do it. For obvious reasons avoid crossing standing or stagnant water, rubbish tips and planter's gardens. Try and keep the Scenic run less arduous but nonethless interesting.

Reconnoitre

There are acres of good unexplored plantation within easy striking distance of Kuching. No need to go miles outstation, although afternoon is a good time to drive and new sites are always welcome.

To set a good run you will need to reconnoitre the area thoroughly, anything from three to five sessions. Make sure there is reasonable parking area where roads/tracks will not be blocked by bashers parked cars. A shady area is preferable (given that some bashers seldom appear in daylight). Send your run site directions to the News-Bash two weeks before the run, remember that simple instructions with trip-meter mileage work best for bleary bashers with afternoon hangovers.

Allow yourself plenty of time so that by the Saturday before, you are familar and comfortable with the area. Plan the ride to cover a wide area within the distance limits. If its too tight and convoluted your false trails will overlap and confusion will reign. Remember that despite logic, bashers will overrun the end of "falsies" by up to 50 metres or more in the desperate hope that paper will magically reappear. Also, when bashers fanout from a check they can cover an area up to half a kilometre in diameter!

The Perfect Bash Trail

No such thing of course but a variety of terrian keeps everyone's interest - hill climbs, fast downhills, single track, challenging downhill tracks for the adventurous and of course a bit of mud! Don't worry about taking riders off the main tracks along contours etc. although remember "rideable" ethic.

Make sure that its not too easy such that everyone breezes round in half an hour. The Long Bash should take 1.5 to 2 hours, The Scenic about the same but at slower pace, all including time taken to break checks.

Checks

Set five to six checks on the Long Run, three to four on the Scenic. The theory is that the front runners will arrive at a check and start looking for the route, allowing the slower riders to catch up - thus a complete peloton rides away as one once the check is broken. Well, not at all really but that's roughly the idea.

Checks are established by dumping a pile of (biodegradable) paper at one point with only the lead-in trail visible. Choose a place where there are several options as to where the real trail could continue. Lay some false trails with paper starting not more than 60m from the check. Pleasant tricks are to lay "falsies" starting tantaalisingly at the bottom of a steep hill so that the poor basher have to cycle back up to the check, or down single track so that everyone hares off only to end up in a crumpled mess as they all try and turn to come back.

• Back Checks - Where bashers will check the obvious routes leading from the check but then realise that they have to go back on their inroute to find the real trail. Alternatively lay it up a dead end where they know they will have to back track.
• Circular Checks - Lead them up a hill, round in a wide circle, then they'll meet themselves coming round, needing a trip back down the hill to find the real trail.
• Normal Checks - Lead the trail to a pile of paper at a junction of several tracks, then set "falsies" and the real trail as before.

Remember not to lay checks or "falsies" too close to where bashers may find another part of the run and end up going the wrong direction or shortcut the course.

Check Mark is:

T = Back Check X = False Trail

Bash Trail Paper

Shredded paper or sliced up squares/triangles/strips etc,. Different colours if you feel inclined. Try and lay sufficient to mark the trail without going OTT. It is biodegradable but only after some time. On straight tracks one piece every 5-10 metres is sufficient but in long grass or mud you will need to lay more.

False trail end crosses stuck to trees rather than on the road are better but make sure the trail leads to the tree and that its stuck on at cyclist's eye level - bashers sometimes suffer from tunnel vision. Chalk can be used on tarmac surfaces. If you run is in a popular hashing area make sure your paper is different from all the other stuff on the ground.

Laying the Trail

To be safe, plan to lay the paper on the Saturday afternoon or Sunday morning before the run. There is a danger that it may get washed away by overnight rain but it's a lot quicker to freshen up a trail on the Sunday morning than to lay it from scratch (unless you start at 5:00 AM with a torch).

Get to the site early on the Sunday of the Bash, allow yourself enough time to whiz around most of the run and make sure the trail is intact.

Pre-Bash Briefing

Once the gathered masses have arrived you will need to give them a briefing or at least tell them what kind of paper to follow, point out any dangers etc.

Make sure you nominate two volunteers to do the bash write-ups for Long and Scenic and that every one has checked in for which ever run they are doing.

On the Bash

Make sure everyone goes off in the right direction, not up the On-In Trail. You should then have time to get to the first check and see how they break it. Remember, if total confusion reigns you may have to give a clue, but resist all threats. Make sure that checks are closed (lay paper to join the route) once they have been broken, slow riders coming up behind will have a hard time finding the trail if not. Discourage enthusiastic bashers from closing checks unless they are absolutely sure its not a "falsie". If a basher is struggling, give him/her a shortcut if you can but don't get them lost because you will have to go look for them if they don't check in.

Bashers should keep calling "On-On" as they ride a round on paper. At a check they should respond to the call "Are You" by replying "Checking" if they are testing a "falsie" or of course "On-On" once they've found the trail. Other calls you will here are what they think of the hare - if its unprintable you've done well!

On-On!